"And let's be on the lookout for any statements from the Iraqi insurgents, who must be thrilled at the prospects of a Dem-controlled Congress." - Fox News memo obtained by Huffington Post.
To: All martyrs of Islam in the occupied territories of the land between the rivers
Re: Democratic victory in US elections
Before I lay out our plans for the upcoming year, I just want to give a high five to the freedom fighters who kidnapped 50 Sunni apostates at the Ministry of Higher Education. Let's keep up the momentum! And focus. And don't forget to enter the Sword of Allah raffle for the steak knives and electric hummus grinder. But you have to kidnap to enter!
You've probably all heard the news that Allah has blessed the Democratic Party with a sweep of both houses of the US congress, forcing the infidel George Boosh to his filthy knees. While it is premature to expect any immediate gains from the blessed Day of the Donkey, we can be assured of several successes, including a hike in the minimum wage for our sleeper cell brothers toiling in the infidels' wretched fast food palaces. Hassan al Libbi el Abu Tikrit Luweluweye, aka "Mike", a soldier of Islam currently undercover as a sous chef at the Route 22 Denny's in Peoria, assures us the additional 22,000 dinars he will receive every hour will not dissuade him from his purpose - to kidnap the Marketing Communications Department staff at Bradley University.
And how about that Nancy Pelosi? I'd like to see her on a prayer rug, if you get my drift!
Have to go now. This memo will arrive by courrier in about six to ten weeks.
In Allah the Merciful's name,