The man who never wasn't

I wrote a while back about Jumil Hussein, and the right wing blogosphere's skepticism that he even existed. Hussein was quote last fall in an AP story about a hideous death squad attack at a Sunni mosque in Baghdad. Now we know that Shiite death squads are torturing and executing Sunnis, and that Iraq's rivers, garbage dumps and sewers have been turned in dead Sunni depositories, to paraphrase a line from one of my favorite movies.* So why is it so hard to believe that six Sunni men were grabbed in a mosque during prayer services and burned alive?

Because the bad news flowing out of Iraq every day is an inconvenience to assorted media whores that make up President Bush's amen choir. Brave Little Michelle Malkin questioned the authenticity of the Sunni immolation, and asked the simple question "Who is this Jumil Hussein character that the UP keeps quoting?" An exhaustive search of Google in English didn't help, thereby proving Malkin's suspicions: Jumil Hussein doesn't exist! He's a sock puppet for AP reporters who hate the United States of America, President Bush, and Jesus. Only two days ago, Malkin reaffirmed her belief that Jalil Hussein does not exist.

But wait, hold the presses. This just in from the AP:

BAGHDAD (AP) -- The Interior Ministry acknowledged Thursday that an Iraqi police officer whose existence had been denied by the Iraqis and the U.S. military is in fact an active member of the force, and said he now faces arrest for speaking to the media.

Ministry spokesman Brig. Abdul-Karim Khalaf, who had previously denied there was any such police employee as Capt. Jamil Hussein, said in an interview that Hussein is an officer assigned to the Khadra police station, as had been reported by The Associated Press.

The captain, whose full name is Jamil Gholaiem Hussein, was sourced for an AP story in late November about the burning and shooting of six people during a sectarian attack at a Sunni mosque.

This nasty bit of reality has sent the right wing bloggers padding into their studies for a shot of Jack and some quiet reflection. Malkin says she's looking for a new way forward, and will seek out Jamil Hussein if she leaves the Green Zone during her embed adventure this summer. Cap'n Ed scrunches his pointy brow and wonders why the Iraqi authorities would want to arrest Jumil if he told the truth to the AP? And my very favorite quote of all comes from Hee Haw reject Confederate Yankee who reckons "As far as the AP's story goes, it does raise some very interesting questions, and I think I'll have a very entertaining weekend trying to make sense of it all." Take your time, Jeb - you've had four years to think about the underlying issues here.

What exactly did the AP do wrong? Jumil Hussein is a Baghdad police captain. He reported acts of violence to a wire reporter, and had been since 2004. The AP identified Mr. Hussein by his full name and job title. But that's not good enough for the Fighting Keyboarders. Mr. Hussein shared bad news, and that's unforgiveable.

What if Mr. Hussein was spreading imaginary success stories? Would Malkin even care?

BAHGDAD (AP) - Sunnis and Shiites joined hands in a human chain around the al Harama neighborhood of Baghdad today as part of a "Coalition Forces Appreciation Day Celebration". Children flew kites and young men competed in pick up softball games, which are becoming increasingly popular in this America-crazy neighborhood.

"Donald Rumsfeld is number one!" said Aisha al Tikriti, a comely teenage girl dressed in a halter top and cut off jeans. Nearby, members of the Mahdi Army, an Islamic service organization, nodded in agreement, then showed off their hip hop moves for a reporter.

Celebrants partied late into the night under the glow of street lights, installed and maintained by American contractors, many of whom danced with jubilant Iraqis.

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* Pulp Fiction